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Steve at Camden Palace, 16th June 1980 - Transcript

The scene:  Inner City Unit, featuring Nik Turner and Judge Trev Thoms are nearing the end of a live performance at the Camden Palace, formerly the Music Machine.  Steve Peregrin Took is due to make a guest appearance as lead vocalist on a cover version of "Slow Down" by the Beatles.  Then Steve shambles onstage one number too early and all hell breaks loose...

*   *   *   *   *

(Keyboard noises.  Steve wanders on holding a glass in his hand.)

Steve: Oh, I'm a Fairy! (in Gumby mode)  Are you?  ICU!!! ICU!!! And I've been given ... some ... Acid!!! 
Nik Turner: Well look, Is Lemmy in the house?  Is Lemmy here?  (panicking)  Can Lemmy come to the stage?  Lemmy?  Are you here?  LEMMY? (gives up)  Alright, you got any requests? (I.C.U. start to play "Masters of the Universe". ) Oh well, this one's for Lemmy.
Steve: STYALL!!!
Nik: "I am the centre of this universe
The wind of time is blowing through you
(high-pitched)And it's all moving relative to you,
(West country accent)It's all a figment of your mind
In a world that you designed
(deep baritone)I'm charged with cosmic energy
(high-pitched)Has the world gone mad or is it me, ha?"

(Nik switches to sax. Band plays on to dramatic pause.  Crowd are well impressed.  Trev cuts in with raw guitar.  Extensive jam  Eventually Nik cuts back in with vocal - a verse two completely unrecognisable as the original lyrics.  Something about "he wanders on to the other side."  Song eventually crashes to a halt.  Well-received. Loud cheers.)

D.J.:  Nik, could you get the guys back? Come back and do another one please, Mr Turner!
(Rhythmic clapping and stomping)
Trev?: Hello ...
D.J.: (drowns him out)You'll have to shout louder than that!
Trev?:  And they say "Say .. say the magic words, Trevor ... Thomas, err, Trevor Thoms ..."
Steve: (interrupts) Listen, ICU?  I.C.U. ??????????  S.P.T.!!!!!!!!!!  A different (unintelligible - sounds like "kind of dead") fucker!!! (Cockney accent á la Windsor Davies) Get in here, son, and act the proper business here! FIRED!!!  I hate you!!! (boos and sarcastic applause  from crowd.  Keyboard noises put on in the background, in a vain attempt to make out as if this is some sort of ambient passage and are turned off as it becomes obvious no-one is being fooled)  
Nik: Thank you.
Steve: I tell ya, I used to pay him (indicates Trev) twenty quid a week ... (dodges crowd missiles) ... MISSED ME, YA FUCKER!!!!!!  And I found 'em, anyway, I tell ya, ... SHUT UP!!!
Nik: Is Bob Calvert here?  I saw Bob Calvert here earlier on.  Can he come to the stage?
Mick Stupp:  Just throw money or flowers, alright?  Just throw money or flowers, okay, we'll be alright, we'll get on with the song.
Steve:  I'd like to remind you, Bob Calvert's turquoise suit ain't as good as mine!  And I want my session fee!!! (Meanwhile, ICU has reconvened onstage)  
D.J.:  Gary Glitter to the stage!
Steve:We're gonna do a number called "Slow Down" ... A number called "Slow Down" by the Beatles, ya remember them?  We don't require them!
(Trev plays guitar intro to Slow Down.)
Nik: Bob Calvert, ladies and gentlemen!
Steve:  Styall!
Well, come on pretty baby, won't you walk with me?
Come on, pretty baby, won't you talk with me?
Come on pretty baby, give me one more chance
Try to save our romance!
(Calvert tries unsuccesfully to chuck in some sort of contribution of his own.  It doesn't work.)
Slow down, baby, now you're movin' way too fast
You better gimme little lovin', better gimme little lovin'
 *WAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!  If you want our love to last
(*= Fabulous soul scream á la James Brown in 'I feel good', or even Wilson Pickett in Mustang Sally)
Well, I used to walk you home, baby, after school
Carry your books home, too
But now you got a boyfriend down the street
Baby what you're tryin' to do?
Slow down, baby, now you're movin' way too fast
You better gimme little lovin', better gimme little lovin' (this line backed by Calvert)
 *WAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!  If you want our love to last.  Slow Down!
(Sax solo by Nik)
You better gimme little lovin', better gimme little lovin' ...

(Calvert has had enough.  He charges in with his own song to Slow Down's melody)

Bob Calvert:Standing on the runway waiting for takeoff, 
I wanna fly,wanna watch me flake off,
I can't move 'cause the man has a rake off, 
you gotta help me, help me to shake off,
Body of mine!  Body of mine! Body of mine!  Body of mine!

Steve:(reasserts control)You better gimme little lovin', better gimme little lovin'
 *WAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!  If you want our love to last
Styall! You better gimme little lovin', better gimme little lovin'
 *WAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!  If you want our love to last
(some shouting.  Song ends. "ICU!"  Bass intro to Brainstorm starts posthaste. Drums.)

Calvert: (Raps intro to Brainstorm. "know what I mean? do people shake in their shoes ..." Guitar kicks in)
Standing on the runway waiting for takeoff, 
I wanna fly, wanna watch me flake off,
I can't move 'cause the man has a rake off, 
you gotta help me, help me to shake off, this...
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I wanna get out of this void
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I don't wanna be destroyed
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I don't wanna turn android
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:You gotta help me avoid that
Steve and Bob: Brainstorm, watch me go, Brainstorm, flying low! Brainstorm!
Calvert: ... I wanna miss it, Brainstorm, you'd bet I'd kiss it, this body goodbye
(nice sax solo from Nik)
You wanna watch me, watch me take-off,
You wanna watch me, watch me take-off,
You wanna watch me, watch me take-off,
You wanna watch me, watch me take-off!
Steve: Body of mine! Body of mine! Body of mine! Body of mine!
Steve and Bob: Brainstorm, watch me go, Brainstorm, flying low! Brainstorm! (more sax)
Bob: I can't get no peace until I get into motion,
Sign my release from this planet's erosion,
Paranoia police have sussed out my potion,
You gotta help me or there'll be an explosion
in this 
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I wanna get out of this void
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I don't wanna be destroyed
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:I don't wanna turn android
Steve: Body of mine!
Calvert:You gotta help me avoid that
Steve and Bob: Brainstorm, here I go, Brainstorm, flying low! Brainstorm!
Calvert: ... I wanna miss it, Brainstorm, you'd bet I'd kiss it, this body goodbye
( Lots more "Brainstorm"s and "Body of mine"s until the finish.)

?: Who wants a blow job?
Trev:Bob Calvert, ladies and gentlemen.  Thank you very much! 
Mick Stupp?:  Nik Turner's Inner City Unit there.
Nik: Alright, hope to see you at Stonehenge.  Nice one.  See ya!
(after a pause)
DJ: Nik Turner's Inner City Unit.  If anyone is in need of an album, or indeed a single or a poster or a badge, Nik's brought some up, I've got 'em up here at the disco. Okay?

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Taken from a bootleg tape of the concert.  Thanks to Nik Turner and Judge Trev for further information.  If you were at this concert and/or can provide further information about this performance, please e-mail David.


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